Climbing out of the Hole of Grief

I wrote this the other day on my personal Facebook page and due to the responses I have received I have decided to share it here with some minor editing for privacy purposes: The anniversary of my spouse’s death is coming in fast: this Saturday. I wasn’t going to say anything until the actual day, […]

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The Struggle to be Present

An issue that I have had for a long time (and seems to be getting worse instead of better) is that I struggle to be present. I dissociate pretty easily and I have a hard time pulling myself back into my body and reality. It’s like I leave the building mentally. The lights are on, […]

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I Stopped Looking In The Mirror

I realized today that it’s been an incredibly long time since I genuinely looked at myself in the mirror. I was never one to spend much time in front of a mirror, but I’ve reached pretty epic levels of mirror avoidance. I began to wonder to myself, why did I stop? The answer: Trauma. When […]

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Depressive Episodes

I find myself in the midst of a pretty serious depressive episode. And I find this particular one to be more frustrating than the average depressive episode. This episode is hitting me when things are going well and I do not like that. I find depression easier to cope with, personally, when it’s happening during […]

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Emerging From the Dark

It has been a hot minute since I have written anything here. Or written anything at all, for that matter. I haven’t been able to put into words what I have been going through. I haven’t been able to open up about it, either. It’s one part writer’s block and two parts unwilling/unable to show […]

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Depression is a Thief

Something about depression that I don’t think gets discussed enough is how it steals time from you. That’s one of the ways that I can gauge if I’m in a depressive episode or not. When I look down and realize it’s the end of June when in my mind it’s still May, and I’m left […]

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What a Year

As we get closer to the end of the year, I cannot help but take a moment to step back and reflect. This is partially Facebook’s fault, by having that cute little feature of putting together a “video” of some of the things you’ve posted throughout the year. I was hesitant to even look at […]

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Knowing Your Limits

I have been pretty quiet lately, forgive me. I had to take a break from writing for a little. During November I had attempted to complete the NaNoWriMo challenge and actually get my story into book format. For those of you who are unfamiliar, it is a challenge to write 2k words a day for […]

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