Fighting for Normalcy

I feel like the process of rebuilding my life seems to happen in waves, or cycles. I don’t like using the term steps, steps indicates that it’s all a forward motion and that isn’t the case. Remember, healing and rebuilding is not a linear process. That last sentence was more for myself than anyone. I […]

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It’s a Battle

Mental illness can be so frustrating. It has its own schedule. It has its own rules. It doesn’t care if you’re doing well. It doesn’t care about anything. It just eats at you. I have been doing really well lately (which is a factor in my lack of posts lately, I’ve been trying to just […]

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Healing Is Not Linear

If you’re going through a major loss or trauma (or both, in my case), the healing process unfortunately is not a linear one. I’m going to go with a “nerdy” analogy here and compare it to The Lord of the Rings movies. Parts of their journey include safe, cheerful moments. Other parts are intense and […]

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Today is 15 Months

15 months ago today, I lost the love of my life. And it was hitting me before I even realized what day it was, today. And it’s hitting me with an intensity that I did not anticipate. It took all of the air out of me. The grief is just compounding on me endlessly at […]

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Transition is Hard

This week I have gone through an insane amount of transition. And even though it was desired transition, it really took a toll on me. It knocked me on my ass way harder than I ever could have anticipated and I am still trying to shake it off. I moved into my new studio on Tuesday! […]

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Grief is Sneaky

I have been really emotional since signing my lease. And it took me a while to figure out why. And it’s a lot. First, Tuesday was the one year anniversary of my grandma dying. I didn’t register the date on the actual day, but my body certainly did. Especially the day after. I didn’t even […]

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A Week of Anxiety

My life continues to hold the theme of massive transition and change in a short period of time. Yesterday, I was approved for my own studio! Which is so exciting to me I can’t even begin to tell you. Getting to that point though was extremely stressful for me and I am really feeling it […]

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Another side to healing

This weekend, I went to an energy healing class to learn a new technique. I can’t remember if I mentioned before, but I am trained/attuned to level II reiki and have been trying to learn more and more about energy healing. Prior to Matt’s death, I was always intrigued by that side of life and […]

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Feelings of Gratitude

I have to take a moment to express the tremendous amount of gratitude that I feel in my heart right now. As I continue to have a positive upswing, I am able to really express how much I appreciate the support in my life and it matters very deeply to me that acknowledge how beautiful […]

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