What Emotional Rebuilding Looks Like From the Inside

Today I have felt so many different emotions, it’s all over the map and extremely rapid. I am a weird combination of clear/lucid along with feeling like it’s hard to pin my thoughts down. I’m physically and emotionally exhausted. Excited and defeated. Feeling hopelessly trapped but also feeling like I’m running down the path to […]

A Time of Transition

I have had a couple parts of my journey lately that I have been keeping to myself and those who are close to me, but now I feel ready to talk more openly about them. First, over the past month or so, I have been weaning off of my antidepressants. I did not make this […]

Fighting for Normalcy

I feel like the process of rebuilding my life seems to happen in waves, or cycles. I don’t like using the term steps, steps indicates that it’s all a forward motion and that isn’t the case. Remember, healing and rebuilding is not a linear process. That last sentence was more for myself than anyone. I […]

It’s a Battle

Mental illness can be so frustrating. It has its own schedule. It has its own rules. It doesn’t care if you’re doing well. It doesn’t care about anything. It just eats at you. I have been doing really well lately (which is a factor in my lack of posts lately, I’ve been trying to just […]

Healing Is Not Linear

If you’re going through a major loss or trauma (or both, in my case), the healing process unfortunately is not a linear one. I’m going to go with a “nerdy” analogy here and compare it to The Lord of the Rings movies. Parts of their journey include safe, cheerful moments. Other parts are intense and […]

Stop Comparing Your Divorce to Widowhood

This is one of the most common things I have seen my fellow widow(er)s complain about. Every widow(er) I know – which is sadly a lot at this point – hates this. And I’m going to explain why we don’t like this. I promise you, we are not unreasonable. Well, at least not this time. Before […]

Today is 15 Months

15 months ago today, I lost the love of my life. And it was hitting me before I even realized what day it was, today. And it’s hitting me with an intensity that I did not anticipate. It took all of the air out of me. The grief is just compounding on me endlessly at […]