Emerging From the Dark

It has been a hot minute since I have written anything here. Or written anything at all, for that matter. I haven’t been able to put into words what I have been going through. I haven’t been able to open up about it, either. It’s one part writer’s block and two parts unwilling/unable to show […]

Read More Emerging From the Dark

Time to Wake Up

So much can happen in one week. Seems like a recurring theme for me, doesn’t it? Anyway! Last week, my personal life took a very unexpected turn. And it has caused me to reevaluate my life and what I have been doing for the last several months or so. I haven’t been able to get […]

Read More Time to Wake Up

Sometimes it is incredible how much can unfold and happen in a short period of time. For my most obvious example, there’s Matthew’s death. My whole life irreversibly changed in a matter of hours. It is almost impossible to comprehend, to be honest. I have started to view it as an extreme form of cognitive […]

Read More

Struggling to Find Balance

The last week or two, I have been having a rough time. I have been hit with some stress that is unrelated to grief or PTSD. Which was honestly an odd sensation? For so long, my main stress was my grief, PTSD, and the struggle to try to keep rebuilding my life. I didn’t have […]

Read More Struggling to Find Balance

A Look at Transition Phases

I feel as if I am in the middle of a very large and important transition phase. And I have been really struggling to put what I am currently going through into words, let alone words that are sensible and somewhat coherent. But I am going to try, because the transition phases are such an […]

Read More A Look at Transition Phases

The Path to Acceptance

For the first time since losing Matt, I seem to be entering into some sort of an acceptance stage. I don’t typically like referring to the typical five stages of grief, I feel they grossly over-simplify the process. But alas, acceptance is part of healing. Acceptance isn’t as straight forward as one would think. There’s […]

Read More The Path to Acceptance

A Feeling I Did Not Expect…

Now that I have hit and passed the dreaded one year mark, I can’t help but feel like I am having my own personal New Years. I feel like it’s time to purge the pain and put my new life back together. It’s time to remove some of the clutter from my “past life” so […]

Read More A Feeling I Did Not Expect…

Progress is subtle

Lately, I monitor my emotional symptoms on sort of a weekly basis. Mostly to keep track of how each week goes between therapy sessions to keep my therapist in the loop as best as possible. I am currently in a phase where internally there has been so much progress. But that shift has not fully […]

Read More Progress is subtle