Emerging From the Dark

It has been a hot minute since I have written anything here. Or written anything at all, for that matter. I haven’t been able to put into words what I have been going through. I haven’t been able to open up about it, either. It’s one part writer’s block and two parts unwilling/unable to show […]

Knowing Your Limits

I have been pretty quiet lately, forgive me. I had to take a break from writing for a little. During November I had attempted to complete the NaNoWriMo challenge and actually get my story into book format. For those of you who are unfamiliar, it is a challenge to write 2k words a day for […]

Why You Shouldn’t Tell a Widow to Move On

One thing I have learned in my 20+ months of widowhood is that a lot of people feel the need to tell a widow to “move on” with her life. I haven’t come across this personally, but I know an alarming amount of widows and widowers who do experience this. So I’m taking the opportunity […]

Trying to Embrace the New

The theme of major transition continues for me. This time, I am being dealt a positive transition. I have landed a new job. It’s exactly what I was looking for. This is also my first full time, permanent position since graduating college. I haven’t had a ton of work experience since finishing school back in […]

Why is year two so hard?

For those of you who don’t know, year two of widowhood is brutal. And I want to explore this concept, I have spent more time thinking about this than I would like to admit. When I first joined the online group Hot Young Widows Club (which I have mentioned before), I noticed that a lot […]

Stop Comparing Your Divorce to Widowhood

This is one of the most common things I have seen my fellow widow(er)s complain about. Every widow(er) I know – which is sadly a lot at this point – hates this. And I’m going to explain why we don’t like this. I promise you, we are not unreasonable. Well, at least not this time. Before […]

Today is 15 Months

15 months ago today, I lost the love of my life. And it was hitting me before I even realized what day it was, today. And it’s hitting me with an intensity that I did not anticipate. It took all of the air out of me. The grief is just compounding on me endlessly at […]

Transition is Hard

This week I have gone through an insane amount of transition. And even though it was desired transition, it really took a toll on me. It knocked me on my ass way harder than I ever could have anticipated and I am still trying to shake it off. I moved into my new studio on Tuesday! […]

Trying to Understand the Reality of my Circumstances

Lately I have been feeling very defeated in terms of how heavily my trauma and mental health affect my capacity to function at a level that I am content with. And I came to a realization. A lot of people who experience trauma are able to maintain some semblance of normalcy afterward. That is impossible […]

Sometimes it is incredible how much can unfold and happen in a short period of time. For my most obvious example, there’s Matthew’s death. My whole life irreversibly changed in a matter of hours. It is almost impossible to comprehend, to be honest. I have started to view it as an extreme form of cognitive […]