The Struggle to be Present

An issue that I have had for a long time (and seems to be getting worse instead of better) is that I struggle to be present. I dissociate pretty easily and I have a hard time pulling myself back into my body and reality. It’s like I leave the building mentally. The lights are on, […]

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I Stopped Looking In The Mirror

I realized today that it’s been an incredibly long time since I genuinely looked at myself in the mirror. I was never one to spend much time in front of a mirror, but I’ve reached pretty epic levels of mirror avoidance. I began to wonder to myself, why did I stop? The answer: Trauma. When […]

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Emerging From the Dark

It has been a hot minute since I have written anything here. Or written anything at all, for that matter. I haven’t been able to put into words what I have been going through. I haven’t been able to open up about it, either. It’s one part writer’s block and two parts unwilling/unable to show […]

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A Moment of Relfection

After having survived my second Thanksgiving without Matthew, I wanted to take a moment to reflect on my journey. The holiday season has proven to be useful in its ability to help me gauge the progress that I have made in my personal and professional life. This time last year, I was very freshly diagnosed […]

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It’s a Battle

Mental illness can be so frustrating. It has its own schedule. It has its own rules. It doesn’t care if you’re doing well. It doesn’t care about anything. It just eats at you. I have been doing really well lately (which is a factor in my lack of posts lately, I’ve been trying to just […]

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Time to Wake Up

So much can happen in one week. Seems like a recurring theme for me, doesn’t it? Anyway! Last week, my personal life took a very unexpected turn. And it has caused me to reevaluate my life and what I have been doing for the last several months or so. I haven’t been able to get […]

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Conquering fears

So yesterday evening I was starting to get really restless being trapped indoors. So once the snow started to slow down and they were able to start plowing, I decided to go out to someone’s house. *Side note: when it comes to my personal life, I intend on keeping my loved ones identities as vague […]

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